I am not sure what I am trying to convey in this blog or what it is I really want to write about, so I will ramble on and hope it makes sense at the end.
I read lots of blogs out there, mainly ones to do with the virtual world, and I see a lot of people out there who have opinions, gee I have my own blog and my own opinions that is the beauty of this, but sometime i see people write about things they really have no clue on, and yes I am probably sometimes guilty of that also. But having said that it is interesting to read some people’s perceptions of certain things, and I wonder where they get their thoughts, ideas and notions about certain things.
So where am I going with this, to be honest I have no clue, I felt I needed to write something and I have a million things swimming around my head right now. So here goes..
Who am I?
Interesting question, people me or who read my blog know me as Toy McBride resident of Littlefield OSgrid, some trusted people even know my real name, but in truth what you see is what you get, I am the same person in the virtual world as I am in real life.
I like to think of myself as a loving, kind, friendly, happy person. I do my very best to treat people as I would expect to be treated. I treat people in the virtual world as I would treat people in real life with the same respect, something that sometimes is lacking in a virtual world for what reason I can not comprehend. Is that easy to think that there is not a real person behind the avatar? That what you say or do may affect them in some way. As I watch people in world, watch how they behave, speak and interact with others, I wonder wow are you really like this in real life? Or does it make you feel a big brave person sitting there in front of your computer screen? What makes you change when you sit down, turn your computer on? What goes through your mind that you think it ok to be or act this way?
Now this only applies to a very small percentage of people I have met in world, thankfully.
Back on track…sort of… I have been in world (starting in Secondlife) for about 5 years now I love being in a virtual world, I use to love SL but things change, people move on but now I love OSgrid/Littlegrid, there is barely a day goes by when I do not log into OSgrid to be with my family & friends. I left SL because I was just not happy there anymore, I couldn’t afford to keep a sim and marketplace had taken people away from coming to my shop, I didn’t have a shop for the money, I mostly spent the money I made on building items to create more things, SL just wasn’t what it was when I first landed in 2007 but in OSgrid I found a (yes I will say it) new frontier. I was free to create when I wanted to, I don’t have to worry about getting traffic to my sim/shop and I could make things to give away. I love how cheap OSgrid is to run regions on servers, the control we have, I can if a region is not working as it should restart it, I can watch a new region rise from the water in such a short time and I can build to my heart’s content without having to worry about going over my prim limit…this is freedom to me. I love to create furniture with mlp, I like pretty things, I love my garden sim I have created. I like to hang with my family and friends, to laugh and talk. I like to meet new people.
I live in the Littlefield regions, which is primarily a BDSM region, although you don’t have to be into BDSM to come visit our stores etc, we welcome all who want to come visit with us or live with us..we are a fast growing community of wonderful creators and people, we are family.
I am part of a loving family, I have the most wonderful Master one could ever hope for and the best sisters I could dream of having………………….so you have just read this line, I wonder now what is going through your mind? are you beginning to stereotype me now? I wonder what your preconceived ideas of BDSM are? I wonder will you continue to read my blog further? I do hope you do.
I am no expert in BDSM trust me, I know what I know and from my Master I learn each day what it means. I didn’t submit and give myself to my Master because I need him to take care of me, or because I am some mindless twit. quite the opposite. I am an intelligent & fairly successful woman, with a mind of my own.
Now why did I submit to my Master? another good question, well I met a man who was wise, smart, kind, enchanting and very loving. Is this not what we all look for in a partner? I just want to be with someone who makes me happy, who makes smile, who makes me laugh, who loves my intelligence, my ideas, my thoughts and I wanted someone who I know loves me no matter what, loves me on a good day and loves me on a bad day.
But to answer the question why I submitted to my Master, quite simple I trust him without question and I love him.
I am not going to preach to you about BDSM, try to convert you or sway you to my thinking, that would be foolish of me. The problem is people have such a wide view or idea of what BDSM is. It’s not just about sex, or being bound up with cuffs or ropes, or being gagged, or being told what to do or what to wear or how to act, it is so much more.
It’s about, well to me how I see it, it’s about giving yourself totally to someone, who you trust, someone you know who loves you, who only has your best interests at heart, who would never do anything to hurt you. Some days I think of my Master as my mentor someone I can talk with, someone to help me work through any problem or issues I may be having, someone to help me make a decision or choice and no he does not directly tell me what choice I should make, my Master has the uncanny knack of helping me see both sides of the coin, helps steer me in the right direction, always keeping my best interests at heart and I am not just talking about the virtual world, this include the real world, for us there is no difference, it doesn’t stop when I log out each time, I carry my Master in my head and heart no matter what world I am in, when I need to do something and can’t contact my Master I ask myself what would he say or do, he is the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of when I close my eyes to sleep each night, he is the wise voice in my head and he is the smile that I have on my face each day, really the only thing that separates us in distance.
I guess the next question is “how do you love someone you have never met face to face” that is easy I’ve done it before, but I will not go into what or how that was. Ask yourself this, if you have a partner in the non virtual world how often do you sit down and talk each day? Not much I bet, well I spend many hours talking with my Master a day and to be honest for me talking is the only real way to get to know someone, now I would so dearly love to actually sit in the same room face to face with him, but for now that is not possible, it is a dream that I will never give up, for I know that in the future it will happen, I will have my moment alone with him, to reach out and touch his face or hand, to feel the beating of his heart as he embraces me for the first time……
Now why did I write all this, I have no clue, I just wanted to give you more of an insight into who I am, I just want to hope that you will be more open to other people’s way of life next time you come across someone who is not quite like you, or behaves like you or lives like you. We often joke when spending time with each other how we must seem weird to others, we live a BDSM lifestyle yet we sit around talking about all sorts of things from computers, sci fi, music the list goes on, we are just slightly different to you not much really, we love to have fun, laugh, fool around, hang out together and love to get to know new people who may stop by. We just want to build a friendly, happy, fun and creative community.
So if you are curious or want to ask a question about our lifestyle, stop by and ask we are happy to chat, but please come with an open mind, but most of all please come with a sense of humour, that is utmost important to us.